Every year for Halloween I watch a ton of horror (or horror-adjacent) movies and TV shows, and keep a list of which I’ve seen and what grade I would give it. Last year I began writing small reviews for each and posting them to Facebook for my friends to read as well, and this year I am going to share those reviews with you here in the order I wrote them, along with a guide to where you can watch the content, so that anyone looking for something scary this October can find it. Whether you are after something truly scary, endearingly cheesy, or thought-provoking, with 35 titles to pick from you should find what you are seeking here. So let’s get to it.
RUIN ME
Some walking stereotypes go to a horror-movie-themed campout, which turns out to be more real than they had anticipated. It’s an interesting concept that winds up being almost completely wasted and is entirely devoid of any suspense. The acting was usually okay though, and I was never totally bored. GRADE: C
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THE MUTILATOR
This cheesy 80’s slasher follows a young man and his college friends who are lured by his father to the family beach house so he can pick them off as revenge for the lead character accidentally killing his mother as a child. It’s every bit as ridiculous as it sounds and is only redeemed by the surprisingly good practical effects work, which is decidedly not for the squeamish. GRADE: D
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KUSO
A series of interconnected vignettes that follow the survivors of a major earthquake somehow turning Los Angeles into… well, I’m not really sure what to call it. Let’s just say it is incredibly weird. And very, very gross. There is unlikely to ever be a movie containing more bodily fluids than this one. There is nothing scary here, nor is there really supposed to be, but it still definitely falls into the horror camp. Interesting, and truly unique. GRADE: B
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TONIGHT SHE COMES
Through unfortunate happenstance, several strangers wind up trapped on an isolated property in the woods with a demon. Basically. This one operates on its own rules, which don’t always make a lot of sense, but still seem to work somehow. There is very little chance you will see where this one is going, and it’s definitely kind of stupid, but as the violence gets increasingly over-the-top, at the very least it holds one’s attention. I am not really sure if I liked it or not, but I will certainly never forget it. GRADE: B+
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Verónica
A teenage girl who is basically being left alone to raise her 3 younger siblings plays around with a Ouija board during a solar eclipse. As you can imagine, that was a poor decision. The events that transpire as a result are genuinely creepy, and had me looking behind myself and nervous to go around corners in my own house. There are a few minor things that keep it from being perfect in my eyes, but it’s definitely one of the scariest recent films I can think of. GRADE: A
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GHOUL
This Indian TV miniseries is surprisingly good at being scary and getting across a political message (which is likely more relevant to people in India, but could certainly have some implications to situations elsewhere in the world). We follow a woman of a persecuted minority in the near future, who is actually on the side of those doing the persecuting. She gets a job at a Guantanamo style facility where her father had been previously taken, and discovers the disturbing truth behind it, while also having to fend off a vengeful ghoul that had been sent to reap revenge on those running the prison. There are a handful of times that the special effects are a little subpar, but otherwise this is a tense and interesting little tale. GRADE: A-
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OVER THE GARDEN WALL
This Cartoon Network miniseries follows 2 brothers who find themselves lost in a strange forest trying to make their way home as they meet all manner of interesting or scary characters along the way. There is a bit more to it than that, but to say anything else would sort of ruin things. While this one may qualify more as horror-adjacent, it is definitely worth watching. The voice cast is excellent, the artwork is beautiful and charming, and the frequent music is absolutely delightful. Most importantly though, the story is absolutely wonderful, and anyone who knows me at all can guess what my reaction was by the end (HINT: A tissue or 2 may have been required). An animated masterpiece. GRADE: A+
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BLOOD RAGE
The 1980’s saw a whole slew of slasher movies put out, and this is one of the…. well, it’s one of them. Effectively we follow a mother and son, as the son’s twin escapes a mental asylum and comes to pay them a visit. I won’t spoil anything else, but where things go from there is spelled out pretty clearly from the beginning anyway. Also apparent from the beginning is just how terrible this is going to be. The plot is almost complete nonsense and the acting frequently goes wildly over the top (especially Louise Lasser as the mother). The one saving grace is that the special effects are frequently gross enough to be almost frightening. It might be worth watching after several drinks. GRADE: D
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PHANTASM
Widely regarded as an old-school horror classic, this weird little tale doesn’t hold up quite as well as I had hoped. We are again following 2 brothers, this time as they investigate what happened to their other brother’s corpse at a creepy funeral home. Suffice it to say things get rather bizarre. It is a bit campy at times, and the characters make plenty of baffling decisions, but it still does have several moments of genuine suspense, along with some memorable setpieces and a rather original plot. Maybe not as great as some will say, but still worth checking out for genre aficionados. GRADE: B
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MOTHER!
This one doesn’t set out to have you jumping around in your seat, but Darren Aronofsky’s wildly over-the-top blend of Biblical lore and ecological parable will definitely leave you feeling horrified, either because you wish you could have the time back or because you understood and were blown away by what he was going for. Count me in the latter camp. Filled with excellent performances and spectacular camerawork, this tense, chilling story sticks with me in a way few others do. GRADE: A+
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THE KILLING OF A SACRED DEER
Greek director Yorgos Lanthimos’ retelling of the myth of Iphigenia is a slow-burn masterclass of supernatural suspense. We follow a doctor who has befriended the son of a man who he allowed to die during open-heart surgery. As it turns out, the son has somehow cursed the doctor making him have to choose to kill one of his family members (a wife and 2 children) or else all 3 will slowly die. As the curse begins to take hold, the weirdness and suspense steadily build. The intentionally stilted acting, bravura cinematography, and eerie score keep one on edge all the way to the stunning conclusion. Not quite perfect, but really close. GRADE: A
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HELL HOUSE LLC II: THE ABADDON HOTEL
The first was hardly a masterpiece by any means, but it did manage to do a lot with very little, and despite its flaws, was genuinely creepy. Unfortunately, the second seemed to take everything wrong with the first movie and magnify it tenfold. The acting was almost universally atrocious, and the weirdly Bond-villain-esque explanation scene at the end almost completely ruins the entire thing. When the film focuses on scared people running around a haunted old hotel however, it does pull off some decently scary moments, if only there were more of them. GRADE: C
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Häxan
This Swedish silent film from the 1920’s isn’t necessarily horror per se. It presents itself as a documentary about the history of witchcraft, beginning with historical artworks depicting the supernatural interspersed among the title cards. After a while though, it switches to showing re-enactments of alleged witches practicing their craft and being persecuted by overzealous witch hunters. Many of the special effects hold up surprisingly well considering the movie is nearly 100 years old, and I can only imagine that they really freaked people out at the time of its release, but the movie isn’t really scary now, though that could be at least partly due to the use of classical music pieces to accompany the film that didn’t really feel correctly matched. More interesting as a bit of film history than as an actual film. GRADE: C
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A QUIET PLACE
I am glad I didn’t see this one in a movie theater, because if I had been hopping around in my seat and screaming at the screen like I did while watching this at home, it would have been very embarrassing. This ingenious little creature feature, in which none of the characters can talk because monsters who hunt by sound have been wiping out humanity, was one of the most effective of its type to come out in years. It effectively builds suspense at all the right moments, and develops the characters enough to make us genuinely care about their fates. Sure, at first viewing I half-noticed a few plot holes that might become more obvious on a repeat watch, but this was still one of the most fun monster movies I’ve seen in a long time. GRADE: A+
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TRAIN TO BUSAN
This South Korean zombie flick plays like a cross between 28 Days Later and Snowpiercer. A recently separated husband is taking his somewhat distant young daughter on a train trip to his ex’s house as a zombie outbreak begins. Unfortunately for everyone on board, one of the infected got on the train just before it left, and well, you can guess where things go from there. The movie does have some interesting things to say about work, money, and the class system, particularly in relation to how they exist in South Korea, but it’s also a pretty thrilling, if occasionally rote, little film regardless of whether you can relate to the rather blatant subtext. GRADE: A-
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TERRIFIED
Hailing from Argentina, this movie follows a police officer and a doctor who specializes in the paranormal as they investigate a haunting occurring in a part of Buenos Aires. The beginning of the movie felt somewhat disjointed and confusing to me, but it still featured some effectively creepy imagery. Things only get scarier as they go and eventually the plot did make some sort of sense. Not exactly a perfect movie, but it did have me jumping around in my seat and then carefully checking around dark corners on my way to bed afterward. GRADE: B+
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THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE (2018)
A family buys an old mansion with the intention of living in it as the parents fix it up to flip for a large profit. Of course, the house has quite a history, and strange and scary things happen, ending with tragedy and their ultimately leaving. The effects of that last night follow them as the children grow up and have to deal with the memories of their time there, while also trying to piece together exactly what happened before the family fled. This is a pretty masterfully made TV show, with some incredible direction and well-plotted storytelling. It expertly builds suspense and is very scary when it wants to be, especially with ghosts hiding in the background in several scenes, going completely unnoticed by any characters. With overarching themes revolving around death, loss, remorse, trauma, and love, it’s also frequently very sad. It feels like it is only loosely related to the Shirley Jackson novel on which it’s based, but it captures the eerie feel of that book pretty perfectly, and on closer inspection has more in common with it than you might first think. Easily the best horror story on television last year, and possibly one of the best TV shows of 2018 period. GRADE: A+
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CHERNOBYL
Expertly made. Wrings incredible amounts of tension out of events for which the outcome is already well known. Not technically horror, though it contains some of the most frightening sequences of any filmed project this year, and makes some alarmingly relevant points about the dangers of false information and a willingness to blindly follow those in power. GRADE: A+
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THE BLACKCOAT’S DAUGHTER
An effective little chiller about 2 girls left behind at a possibly haunted boarding school over Winter break, and another girl who hitches a ride to head to the same school for mysterious reasons. Decently creepy at times, with some surprising plot developments, but nothing here is especially memorable. GRADE: B
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HELLBOY (2019)
Not as bad as it was made out to be, but not anywhere near as good as the previous iteration. This (second) origin story for the titular demon-spawn / defender-of-mankind tries to pack too much in, and as a result very little is fully developed or feels particularly consequential. There are some incredibly well-designed setpieces, and the last 30 minutes manage to approach being good, but this one should have gone back to the drawing board at least once. GRADE: C
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SUMMER OF ’84
As neighborhood teens start going missing, a group of friends begins to suspect that their police officer neighbor might be behind the crimes. Initially, this movie comes off as a passably entertaining, 80’s-period-piece / coming-of-age story with a mystery twist. When it kicks into horror mode at the end though, it becomes a surprisingly twisted and tense take on the slasher genre. GRADE: B+
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THE BOYS (SEASON 1)
Envisions a world in which superheroes are managed by a large conglomerate who both controls where they will be to fight crime and molds their public image (movies, comics, merch, etc…). Basically what it would be like if the MCU movies were made by real superheroes. Of course, this sort of thing leads to collateral damage, and a small group comes together to fight against the impunity with which the “Supes” operate. Gleefully violent, with some clever spoofing of the genre (among other things), this show expertly balances its mix of action, drama, and comedy. It only occasionally veers towards horror territory, but when it does, as in the season finale, it can be downright chilling. One of the year’s best new shows. GRADE: A
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WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (SEASON 1)
If you loved the movie (which I did), then you will love the series (which I did). It maintains the faux-documentary style of the film, but with a different group of vampires, this time living on Staten Island. The mix of slapstick and dry comedy is every bit as clever here, and the ongoing stories are more than engaging enough to keep viewers coming back. I can’t wait for Season 2. GRADE: A
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CLIMAX
A dance troupe heads out to an empty school building in the woods to spend 3 days rehearsing. During the opening night party, someone spikes the sangria with LSD, leading to the members of the company having a very dark trip. Director Gaspar Noe’s films could easily be described as endurance cinema, and this one certainly fits that bill, as even the more light-hearted early scenes in which we meet the dancers are dragged on far longer than seems necessary. The dance sequences are some of the best ever put to film, and the drug-fueled night that follows is a truly harrowing experience. Whether or not the movie has anything to actually say or not is up to you (I think it does), but it is one of the more memorable movies I’ve seen this year. GRADE: A
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US
Jordan Peele’s follow-up to Get Out is far more of a straight-up horror movie than that one was, though it is perhaps slightly less effective. We follow a vacationing family who begins being terrorized by their doppelgängers. There are some chilling home-invasion sequences, though the central conceit might strain credulity just a hair too much to be truly frightening. Still, it is incredibly well-made with excellent cinematography, some of modern horror’s more memorable scoring work, and leaves the viewer with some interesting questions about just who is good or bad, and what makes them that way. GRADE: A-
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CASTLE ROCK (SEASON 1)
A young man is found in a cage in an isolated room beneath Shawshank Prison. He can barely speak except to ask for a man who left town years ago to practice law. Why he would know this person and what he was doing in the cage drive the plot of the first season of this anthology series very loosely based on the works of Stephen King. It’s very well cast, has some decently creepy moments, and a compelling central mystery, though it still sometimes feels a bit too much like the cheesy King miniseries adaptations that used to air annually on ABC. GRADE: B
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BATTLE AT BIG ROCK (SHORT)
Jurassic World director Colin Trevorrow returns with this short about a family on a camping trip some time after the events of Fallen Kingdom. As you may know, that movie ended with [SPOILER ALERT] dinosaurs now roaming the continental United States, so it should come as no surprise that a few of them invade the vacation. The family is decently developed, especially considering the brief runtime, and the dino action is well-executed, but while this will certainly help to whet your appetite for the potential chaos of the series’ next installment, it’s quite clear that’s all it was meant to do. GRADE: B+
HELL HOUSE LLC III: LAKE OF FIRE
After the surprisingly decent original film in this found-footage trilogy, the sequels have seen things go pretty rapidly downhill. This third entry does see a marked improvement over the abysmal acting of the second, but it still suffers from that movie’s unfortunate interest in over-explaining the goings-on. Even worse, the writer/director has apparently almost completely forgotten that he was supposed to be making a horror movie and neglected to include much of anything intended to be frightening. Intermittently interesting, but hopefully the last visit to this particular haunted house. GRADE: C-
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CLOWN
You may wonder why the previous movie on this list got a C- when it sounds like I thought it worse than that, but if you watch this movie you will see why. There is literally almost nothing good here. A group of teens stumbles upon an abandoned village in the middle of the desert which contains an old funhouse apparently carved into a rock, and which mysteriously seems to still have running electricity. Of course they go inside, and find themselves trapped with no way out, despite the walls often appearing to be made of flimsy boards with wide gaps between them. Every action everyone makes in this movie is completely baffling, including those made behind the camera. The acting manages to rise above terrible, but that’s really the only nice thing I can say about this one. Might be more entertaining with friends and copious amounts of alcohol. GRADE: F
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GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS
If you’re at all familiar with the long-history of Godzilla movies, you already know that you shouldn’t come into one of these hoping for a plot that makes a large degree of sense, and this one won’t disappoint you there. You should also know that the reason anyone does watch these is to watch giant monsters destroy cities and duke it out with each other. On that front you might find yourself at least a little disappointed, as this movie does not seem to have learned from the mistakes of the last (better) film, and instead spends way too much time focusing on the well-acted but underwritten people that we are supposed to care about for no other reason than the fact that the camera is pointed in their direction. It makes for an okay way to kill a couple hours, but that’s about it. GRADE: C+
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MA
Octavia Spencer plays a middle-aged woman who decides to let a group of teens use her basement as a party spot, even going so far as to provide them with seemingly limitless quantities of booze. It should come as no surprise that she has an ulterior motive for doing so, and is perhaps not too far onto the sane side of the spectrum. While the basic set-up of the story is somewhat novel, the main plot beats are pretty predictable. The movie still manages to drum up some suspense however, and the well-acted cast and likable chartacters help. Octavia Spencer in particular appears to be having a blast playing against type and it’s worth watching the movie for her performance alone. GRADE: B+
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THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE
Shortly after finishing up for the night, father and son coroners Tommy and Austin are called back to duty when an unidentified female corpse is brought in with no clear cause of death from an otherwise grisly crime scene. As they go about trying to figure out what exactly killed her, strange things beginning happening in the mortuary around them. Brian Cox and Emile Hirsch are excellent as the 2 leads and the slow-burn plot and creepy visuals do a fantastic job of ramping up tension, making this one of the more genuinely scary films I’ve seen in a while. It does fall apart a little bit at the end, but it’s still a near perfect horror movie. GRADE: A
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THE STRANGERS: PREY AT NIGHT
The original Strangers movie is one of the most frightening films ever made. The sequel still has its moments, but can’t help but fall short of the first. This time we follow a family who is spending a night at a mobile home campground owned by an uncle during the off-season as they prepare to drop off their daughter at a reform school. As is typically the case during these types of things, a trio of masked killers appears to torment them. The movie is well made, with everyone nailing their parts and convincingly portraying a family going through a rough patch (and that’s before the horror starts up). The killers’ seemingly random selection of victims is still as chilling as it was last time. Unfortunately, the nature of the set-up winds up making this play out more like a generic slasher movie at times, veering a little too much away from the darker nature of the first and more into “fun” territory. Better than average, but just a tiny bit disappointing. GRADE: B+
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LAKE BODOM
Four teenagers head out to the woods around the titular Lake Bodom to shoot photos recreating the murder of four other teenagers who had died at the same spot in 1960. Of course, the perpetrator of that crime was never found, and they quickly discover that they aren’t as alone in the forest as they thought. The movie pulls a few Martyrs style twists to try and make you feel like you aren’t sure what sort of film you’re watching, with only marginal success. Otherwise, this is a pretty ordinary teens-in-the-woods slasher story. It is suspenseful enough, particularly at the end, but it’s not likely to live on as a classic. GRADE: C+
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MIDSOMMAR
A group of friends set off to Sweden to visit the commune that one of them hails from during the community’s Midsommar festival. The odd but otherwise innocuous event takes some dark turns and, well, the less you know about what follows the better. Masterfully shot and directed with an incredible central performance and a perfectly unnerving score. People looking for monsters and/or jump scares will be disappointed, but anyone looking for the sort of movie that leaves you feeling like you’ve been through the emotional wringer by the end will walk away more than satisfied. To top it all off, it does a great job of touching on themes of family, tradition, and toxic relationships. One of my favorite movies of the year. GRADE: A+